


The fear of falling

by Chaotic_bistander



Category: Apex Legends (Video Games)
Genre: F/F, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Happy Ending, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-26
Updated: 2020-04-26
Packaged: 2021-03-01 22:27:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23854588
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chaotic_bistander/pseuds/Chaotic_bistander
Summary: Wraith was not one to run from her fears, she faces them head on. Yet, the fear of falling in love was a battle she wasn't sure she wanted to face.OrWraith realizing she was falling in love.
Relationships: Wattson | Natalie Paquette/Wraith | Renee Blasey
Comments: 3
Kudos: 108





	The fear of falling

Wraith wasn’t easily intimidated or afraid of someone. Mostly because there’s not much to be afraid of in her eyes, even with the possibility of dying. She accepted the thin line she lives between life and death, to live between different realities and alternate universes. She’s seen a lot and other versions of her have experienced more than she has. 

The voices reassure with answers to certain situations because of their experiences, which usually eases her whenever she’s in “scary” situations. 

She will admit when Revenant was introduced into the games, the voices constantly warned her to never get him mad. Never question his judgment, just stay quiet. For a period she did just that, she knew what he was capable of; he wiped out squads in a matter of minutes, his own army. 

After sometime she got to know him somewhat, and they created a mutual unsaid respect for each other. Don’t get on each other’s nerves and stick to the shadows. 

Wraith has seen him trulyangry only once. She was spectating his team’s game. He just got brought back into the game after his team wiped the squad that instantly killed him. He seemed angry at himself mostly for dying so quickly in the game; he seemed to feed on his anger and went on a killing spree, ruthlessly killing any legend within range.

Wraith knows that kind of anger, to feel helpless and doubted. She hated that feeling. Whenever she was in games where she had to abandon her squad because multiple people ambushed them, she felt useless. Then she’ll feel angry, not at the squad that killed them, more at herself for not being able to _do something._

Those moments are where she holds nothing back, those are the times she feels like she has to fight till her dying breath. Those are the games where she gets well over 20 kills and thousands of damage. 

Those are the games where every legend avoids her afterwards, out of fear that they’ll be at the receiving end of her kunai. 

There are a few legends who still try to talk to her, or at least calm her down, she’s grateful for that, but like Revenant she much rather be alone. 

She hopes the other legends don’t take it to heart; they don’t seem to from what she can tell. After a few hours, they’re back to pester her and trying to spend time with her. Unlike Revenant, she doesn’t mind her friends attempts to include her into their daily activities. She has a limit and can get annoyed whenever certain legends mess around with her. 

She’s more relaxed compared to Caustic and Revenant with the other legends. Mirage and Octane’s pranks can go a bit too far that it can irritate but never resorts to her being angry at them. Caustic mostly locks himself in his lab and that leaves the two to pester Revenant, which is a horrible idea. 

If it’s not Mirage and Octane that quickly annoy Revenant, then it’s Lifeline who goes toe to toe with him. The two will get into heated arguments about morality or even the simplest things like being in the way. Wraith doesn’t know who to be afraid of during those times, so she does what she knows best and stays out of their fights. 

Even in games the two are at each other’s throats and whenever she’s paired with them she’d much rather be with the company of the voices in her head.

Because of their many arguments, they are not to be paired in the same team for the rest of the season. Luckily for them, this was right before the games officially announced that duos will return and will now be permanent.

That duos were now a permanent game alteration bothered Wraith. Don’t get her wrong she cares for each of the legends (in her own way) but to be with one person for a week trying to survive was displeasing. At least in trios she can depend on her teammates to entertain each other while she does some recon, but in duos it’s that her and one other person.

She silently pleads they will partner her with someone who she can get along with that won’t endlessly annoy her or someone she’d be awkward around. 

Thankfully, she got paired with Wattson and after winning their first game with each other, the two have been partners since. 

The first day of their match they gather their loot and created multiple plans for different scenarios the two may cross. By the time nightfall dawned on them, the two bid their ‘goodnights’ as Wraith took the first watch shift. Even with Wattson’s fences, she still felt the urge to keep the guard up and make sure no one tried to attack during the night. 

The two fell into a comfortable routine that clicked for the both of them, earning them multiple wins for a lot of the season. Wattson was the perfect partner, the two hardly argue with each other and work together in tough situations. They know when to pick their battles and when to avoid certain areas that may be littered with traps or potential ambushes. 

There are games they lose, but they quickly bounce back and work on what they can do differently. They’ll have lunch together before the games start, going over strategies and different scenarios. Often they will joke around with crazy situations like what if a Caustic gas trap came sliding towards them, or if they see Crypto’s drone carrying Gibraltar's dome in the air.

They went from work friends to close friends, sharing multiple inside jokes and funny one liners that would make the other snicker from afar. 

Before she knew it, she may have developed feelings for the electrician. It was their twelfth game of the season, around 15 to 18 weeks of duos with alterations of trios. The two were alongside the small space heater trying to keep warm inside the building at the end of Epicenter. They just rotated into the building hoping to go into Fragment East until they heard a series of gun fires and decided to just stay by the edge of the ring. Any stragglers that survived the once known Capital City will be picked off and easily dealt with. 

That night Natalie convinces Renee to actually rest given they are nearing the fifth round of the ring and need all their energy to fight in the last ring that, according to Nat, will most likely be in Fragment East and just outside of Epicenter. 

Wraith remembers the two huddled up in the building, their sleeping bags next to each other with little space. Natalie’s fences were set at each entrance and some were placed outside carefully so the blue light can blend in with the snow. 

Before they drifted to sleep, they talked about the stars and the planets they can remember that were still in view. 

“That right there is Solace,” Natalie points up through the glass. “Or at least I think it is.”

Renee chuckles, “That’s your fifth guess in just 10 minutes, just admit you don’t know where Solace is.” 

The girl huffs beside her, “Fine,” she pouts which quickly turns into a grin, one Renee is very familiar with. 

“Science theory?” The young engineer pleas. 

Science theories led to them having an endless discussion about the many unsolved or new founded science possibilities. Their first discussion was about alternate dimensions how every choice they make leads to an alternative universe. Given that Renee knows about that from first-hand experiences, she answers as many questions as she can. Their latest one was about chaos theory, one they still haven’t finished talking about but forgot where they left off on.

“I thought we were both meant to sleep tonight,” Renee shifts to face her. She didn’t realize how close the two were, a few more inches until they could be nose to nose. 

“Yes, but just one?” Again she asks with pleading eyes Renee just can’t say no to. 

With a groan, she nods her head in agreement and watches as Natalie beams with excitement. The girl suddenly becomes bashful before she looks back up at the stars. 

“What do you know about quantum entanglement?” She silently asks after a few moments of silence.

Renee admires the way the night sky glisters off the blondes face, her cheeks were a tinted pink maybe from heat of the space heater or the intention behind her question. 

“Isn’t that when even at a great distance, two particles that are intertwined with each other if something happens to one, it’ll happen to the other?” She’s heard of this theory before, not something of her field from what she’s gathered from the other Wraiths, but they seem to be familiar with it. 

Nat nods her head in response a small smile as her eyes twinkle, Renee can feel her ears warming up. Since when did the space heater produce this much heat into the room. 

“Do you think that’s possible for humans?” The engineer speaks aloud. That people can be connected in more ways than one?”

Renee raises an eyebrow, “Like soulmates?”

Natalie softly smiles, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear, “Like soulmates.” 

_Yes._

That was the moment Wraith knew she had a crush on the electrician. From that point on, each moment they shared made Renee’s heart beat faster, her words stumble more, and her crush developed into something she’s never experienced before. 

_Love._

And being in love was something Wraith was definitely afraid of. 

The season was nearing to an end; they were in the last few weeks of the game where the amount of wins each legend had determined their ranking and earnings, where many of them stepped up their game. Everyone was focusing on winning, and Wraith was too busy being reckless. 

She would constantly get into fights and insisted on landing in places she saw many people land, she’d go in guns blazing with no plan and just _hope_ for the best. She would drift away from her team in trios or go without a word to Nat whenever they were in a duos match. The young engineer would try to suggest other alternatives, but the skirmisher would shrug her off. 

It was cruel and very unlike her, but no one told her how to deal with being afraid. Whenever she experienced a moment of fear, she would overcome it by physically fighting it. She wasn’t exactly going to punch Natalie in the face and tell her to stop making Wraith fall in love with her. She’ll have a few angry legends to be afraid of, one that’s known for being a criminal even. 

So that leaves her with completely ignoring the feeling and when the next season starts, get a new partner (maybe Pathfinder) and avoid Natalie at all costs. 

“Wraith!”

How many seasons did she had in herself, maybe she can retire by the eighth season and move to a new planet-

“Wraith!”

Gaea would be a good place to move to, or maybe somewhere in Psamathe-

_Watch out._

Before she can comprehend what the voice said, Wraith is tackled to the ground and a warm body pressed onto her back. 

She lets out a groan trying to lift herself off the ground but the body was holding her down. With a huff, she gives up. “Yes Wattson?”

Wraith can hear the girl sneer, “I’ve been trying to get your attention for the past hour! Why have you been ignoring me?”

“I’m not ignoring you,” Wraith quickly lies trying to pick herself up, but is forcefully pushed back down. “Can you get off of me?”

Wattson’s grip seems to tighten, “Not until you tell me the truth.”

“Fine, I’m ignoring you! Can I get up now?” She tries to get up again but the defender grip remains true and Wraith can’t move an inch.

“Not until you tell me why,” her voice is stern and Wraith knows there are a few ways out of this. 

“Because I can! Now get off!” Wraith yells, quickly regretting it as she can feel the pressure on her back get weaker. She’s about to apologize to her, but Natalie quickly gets off. When Wraith gets up and dusts herself off she can see the blonde’s arms crossed, looking anywhere instead of her. 

“Nat-” She tries to talk to her only to get a hand in response. Wraith can see the brim of tears in her eyes, her cheeks red, and mouth wavering. 

“Lets get inside the ring,” her voice is bland and cold; she doesn’t give Wraith much choice as she heads towards Lava City. 

“Natalie-” She tries again.

“Just stop, you’re allowed to ignore me so I’m allowed to ignore you too.” She continues to walk below the abandoned train tracks and jumps across the small path of lava. “You seem just fine being alone, anyway.”

That stung, well there was something to add to a small list of fears, making Wattson mad. She sighs in defeat as she follows the girl into the building. 

“Look Nat, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to yell,” Wraith tries to apologize. The defender continues setting up her defenses on the first floor and heads up the stairs. She quickly follows her, trying to keep up. As she reaches the top flight, Natalie blocks her off with her fence. 

“Nat please-“ the girl huffs in response and turns to take the zip line up to the next floor. Wraith makes a dash up the stairs, hoping to make it before she gets blocked off again. 

“Natalie c’mon!” Third floor blocked just one last floor. The two lock eyes for a second and it gives Wraith hope that she’s getting through to her until Wattson narrows her eyes and scoffs as she heads to the rooftop.

Wraith can feel her heart clenched, not only was an angry Wattson terrifying, but it also a very hurtful one. As she climbs to the top of the stairs, she’s face to face with her fences again. 

Wraith weighs in her options: either she can accept defeat and just sleep on the first floor or try one last time. She closes her eyes and holds out her arm, when she opens them she sees the world in a variety of black, blue, and white. She quickly maneuvers around the defenders fences and when she shuts her eyes again, she is back in her reality and Natalie is leaning on the edge. 

She takes a tentative step forward, reaching out for the girl's hand but decides otherwise. Slowly she lets her hand fall back to her side and stays back. Renee takes a deep breath. No matter how much she’s afraid of being in love with Natalie, she’s afraid of losing her even more. 

“Remember that day you asked me about soulmates?” Renee asks, no response came which was expected so she continues. “I didn’t answer before because I never experienced a connection with someone. For most of my life I’ve been alone, the only person I had was myself. I lost the memories and life I had before and was left with nothing but these abilities and other versions of me. None of them knew how to deal with fear without some brute strength, and I’m not one to ask for help.” She finds herself next to the engineer now, leaning on the ledge.

“But being your partner this past season has made me believe that we have a connection,” Wraith takes a deep breath, _now or never_. “I acted out because I realized I was experiencing something I never have before. I took it out on my teammates, on myself, and to you. It wasn’t fair how I treated you and I deeply apologize, it’s just-“ 

Renee can feel the tears threatening to fall as she chokes back a cry. She straightens herself up, taking in one final shaky breath. 

“I don’t know what to do when I’m in love.”

It’s quiet. The bright colors of blue, orange, and yellow are now a mixture of a dark purple with flickering white. It’s a beautiful scene for such heartbreaking silence. 

After a few moments of silence, Wraith can’t stand it and decides to just head back inside. She feels like a fool, then again she doesn’t know what she was expecting. Maybe Natalie laughing at her face and telling her she doesn’t feel the same or maybe just maybe saying she does. Regardless, she got neither of those. She didn’t get an answer, but she knows what silence means.

She heads towards the zip-line hoping for a squad to end her misery with a well place kraber shot.

“No one knows what to do when they’re in love,” her voice was soft and wavering. Renee halts her steps as she turns to face the girl. “I grew with only one kind of love, from my papa. He never told me what it was like to love someone else. He never taught me what to do when I’m in love. Whenever I asked he would say, ‘it’s the scariest thing in the world’.” 

She steps away from the ledge moving towards Renee and takes hold of her hand. The skirmisher admires the way their hands are laced together and even with their protection gear in the way she can feel the warmth Natalie radiates. 

Their eyes interlock and Renee can see the gentleness of Natalie’s eyes, ever so caring filled with so much love it tugs at her heart.

“But, he also told me we cannot live in fear and overcoming them strengthens us.” She runs her thumb over Renee’s knuckles, gently and reassuring. 

Renee always fought her fears, it’s why she has such a small list of them. Falling in love was easier than admitting it, but with the way Nat was reassuring her, she fought one last fear.

“I’m in love with you.”

There’s a moment as the two stare at each other with beaming smiles. Gently Natalie tugs her closer and their lips touch and move together. It’s sweet and slow, Renee savors how soft Nat’s lips are and relishes on how her heart can feel like it’ll explode with joy. When the two break apart she rests her forward on hers as they hold each other close. 

“I’m in love with you too.”

  
  
  


**Author's Note:**

> Hope you guys enjoy this one shot, it's been in my drafts for months now and I just need to put it out there. With quarantine happening my schedule has been changing and I stumbled a bit of a writers block because of it. Hopefully I can get back to being confident with my work and start posting again.
> 
> For those waiting on my other fic, I have been writing it and trying to find a way to end the it. I will say that chapter 2 and 3 are well over 5000 words but I haven't gone through editing to post them yet. 
> 
> I do have other shots like this one (a favorite of mine is very angsty) and depending how this fic does and what people think, I'll start posting more one shots. 
> 
> Thank you all for the support and kudos I greatly appreciate it and please stay safe out there!
> 
> Also I'm going to try to keep linking my tumblr until it works if anyone wants to send me prompts or anything, hopefully it works this time!
> 
> Tumblr


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